Friday, May 27, 2005
So close, yet so far...
So it's just after 3 pm on the longest day in recorded history. I'm sure you're familiar with the phenomenon - Friday afternoon of a three day weekend, and I'm at work. On one hand - YAY! So close! And my boss isn't even here! On the other hand - are we there yet?!
Sorting out this weekend's plans. Planning on a low key evening at home tonight. Highlights may include pizza delivery and a DVD. Tomorrow: Dim-Sum, and hanging out with Space Kitten. I had NO IDEA until Kimberly gave me the heads up that Madagascar involves Evil Penguins (EVIL! PENGUINS!) and it's getting good reviews, so I'm gonna try to find time over the weekend to see it. Hopefully there's a late showing that won't involve hordes of Other People's Children.
Sunday during the day is reserved for being responsible and taking care of all manner of chores and things, plus a disco nap in preparation for Sunday night: clubbing with the boys. Monday I plan to do nothing more strenuous than sleeping by the pool.
Now if I can just make it til 5 pm today........................
Thursday, May 26, 2005
holy moly!
Just wanted to take a moment to publicly post a message of thanks to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
My home loan just got approved. I hope to have the funds tomorrow.
So in addition to partying like a fool this weekend, I'm going to set aside some time to appreciate all I have and, once and for all, set my financial house in order.
I can finally clear up accumulated debt from months of unemployment, get my car insured, get Space Kitten a blue cross policy, fix stuff in the house in preparation for sale, and make damn sure my savings account will pay my mortgage and HOA through the end of the year, even though this temp job ends in two weeks.
I'm not sure gratitude is a big enough word to cover all this. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
What? No, it's nothing - just a little something in my eye- that's all....
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!
Oh sweet, beautiful, life-sustaining, blissful peace and quiet. I'll never take you for granted again!
*weeps openly, hugs silent speakers*
Yeah. I guess yesterday's drama has been solved. It's all quiet in the cave today! Yay!
Oh, and one for the neato file, courtesy of plutor - Adam Savage from Mythbusters is a member of Metafilter!
/geek
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Not just no. HEEEEEEELLLS, NO.
Apparently, we've moved from Lite Jazz to Inspirational Gospel. We're not talking Mahalia Jackson, House of Blues Gospel Brunch style either.
We're talking annoying country, twangy 'my-mom-used-to-play-this-shit-to-punish-us-as-kids' shite.
Homicide or Suicide?
To quote Kimberly's former cavemate - You have GOT to be kidding!
Isn't this against the Geneva Convention?
Sunday, May 22, 2005
The four-legged infernal chicken almost killed the Warforged!
...But Amanda (pronounced 'A man, duh') killed it.
Any course of events that can lead to the above quote is a good thing. Yeah, it was D&D again today. How could you tell?
Friday, May 20, 2005
truth in advertising
Of *course* the kitten's name is squee. What else would it be?
(via Kittenwar, originally found at Squoogy)
Thursday, May 19, 2005
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Yesterday's flurry of activity has left me spent. (Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I haven't slept properly in weeks.) Major props to Metafilter's DaShiv for the awesome photos.
I'm going home and taking a nap. Wake me up around 5 pm on Friday, willya?
Night...........
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
I. JUST. CAN'T.
I just discovered that there is a person in my phone directory here at work with the first name 'Babyruth'. I'm not making that up. I'm not sure I *could* make that up.
::boggles::
If I can't have patience, I'll take perspective
If you haven't read the comments from yesterday's post, DO IT. I hereby nominate Kimberly as Empress of Perspective, the_bone as Dispenser of Wisdom and Natasha as Common Sense Advisor.
You people fucking rule.
More later. In an appalling turn of events, I have work to do.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
I want patience and I want it NOW!
The big changes I alluded to here last Friday aren't coming together the way I had planned. The idea is to sell my townhouse, quit my job, and go to school full-time. While it's not what any rational financial planner would advise, it works for my particular situation. I get to cash in on the equity I've built here, let go of the past in a very tangible way, and start a new life in another part of town where I'm much happier. Except...
I found an absolutely amazing University. Everything from the mission statement, to the classes offered, to the professor I met are ME in University form. They have a degree completion program for adults, their focus is on promoting social justice and they teach critical thinking. They don't have testing, they do narrative evaluations in a non-competitive environment. In short - it's an incredible experience and I want to start now. I just came back from the undergrad information session and I've never wanted anything more than to attend this program. In my head, I was all set to begin with this fall's session - sell the house in November, start school in December.
So what's the problem? It's a degree completion program. They're not set up to offer lower level undergraduate courses. They won't accept you if you have less than 30 college units accrued. How many units do I have? Not a single solitary one. You can't test in, or use life experience as credits or anything else.
I can't figure out why this rates a breath-holding, screaming, weeping, feet-kicking tantrum but it does. I'm so fucking fed up with happiness deferred...
Crap job? Yeah, I'll be happy when I quit.
Long distance relationship? Yeah, it's awesome, but wait 'til we're in the same time zone.
Money? Sure, it'll be excellent when I've sold the house and can pay off all my bills.
Health? Sooo much better once I can get health insurance.
Family? Wonderful, but it'll be nice when I can help Space Kitten out some more.
School? Once I get through with community college, I can start the program I really want.
GAHHHHHHHHHHH!
Now I know the universe does things in it's own good time, and the right thing will come to me when I'm ready. But, dammit! I can't help but feel like the rug was pulled right out from under me just as I was just learning to listen to my intuition.
::sigh::
I mean, yeah. I'll pull my shit together, take as many CLEP tests as I can, and community college classes for the units I can't test out of. I'll take my time and apply for all the student loans, grants and scholarships possible. I'll bribe myself with voice and yoga classes that aren't available at Idealistic University and have the opportunity to learn to be a student again in an environment that's (likely) much more forgiving of beginners.
And honestly, I am profoundly grateful for the opportunity. Even if I don't sound like it right now.
(What the fuck - blogging's cheaper than therapy)
Yiddish-ism
This funny question about Yiddish on the vine reminded me of an ex. We had a date at the Hollywood Bowl to see Itzhak Perlman perform. It was a gorgeous summer evening, we'd shared a picnic and a really good bottle of wine. It was promising to be a very romantic evening.
Just as the lights were going down, I pointed to the stage and said 'Those balls hanging from the shell, what do you think they do?"
To which he responded "What do you want they should do?!" prompting the longest case of church giggles I've had to this day.
Friday, May 13, 2005
And another thing!
A shout-out to the Broward-Palm Beach 2005 Best Local Blog award winner, the_bone. Yay!
Thinking instead of sleeping....
I've been thinking a lot lately about balance. One of the main recurring themes in my life has been the search for equilibrium: how to balance my obligations to others vs. my obligations to myself.
My obligations to myself have necessarily been on the back burner for some time. When Space Kitten was young, I was a single parent. I worked at a series of soul-sucking corporate jobs because we needed the salary and benefits. What do I want to do with my life wasn't even on the map. It was up to me keep food on the table, and any incidental career satisfaction came from the 'I can't fucking afford to get fired' sense of urgency that every head of household recognizes.
Consequently, for years now I've struggled with the fact that large amounts of my time and energy are spent doing things that mean very little to me. (Note to self: after a good night's sleep enumerate the things you'd prefer to spend large amounts of time and energy on. And behave - this is a family blog. ::eyeroll::)
But what about now? It's been some time since I've been financially responsible for another, and yet I realize that my life still bears very little resemblence to the life I actually want. It's terrifying to think that I've resisted change all along due to what - fear? Inertia? Have I really trudged along, settling for something that's never really been me because I'm afraid of success? Could that really be it?
And now that I'm on the verge of real change* - how do I know I'll make it happen? If the point of power exists in the current moment - and I'm not making the changes I need to make - why do I think that turning my entire life upside down will give me the strength to make those changes?
*oh, so much more on this soon.
So I have a lot more questions than answers - it's nearly 1 am - and somehow I don' t think this brings me any closer to actually taking care of myself. But I have to believe that starting to ask the questions will bring me closer to the answers...
Monday, May 09, 2005
Mood: not in it.
Nobody does cranky like Sars. But if you read here, you already know that. (Yeah, it's madness around here. I'll have an actual post up soon) No, really. Seriously. I mean it...
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
There's no place like home!
Back from an amazing visit with the fabulous Squoogy gang. It was a fabulous reunion, and I'll post more about it later, but it's good to be home.
Stay tuned for photos!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
And so it begins...
The Squoogy Gang reunion and Tres de Mayo festivites are now in full swing. Kimberly has documented the proceedings far better than I could hope to in my morning after state, so go here for the latest quotes of joy.
Thanks to the_bone for being such a good sport about last night's drunken dialing conference call. Trust me - from here it was hilarious.
