Friday, May 19, 2006

Another sleepless night!

It's been awhile.

While I've really missed blogging, I'm at a loss for what to say these days. You would think that with all the fun and interesting things going on and more madness in the works (Not to mention a certain upcoming GRADUATION CELEBRATION!) that there would be no shutting me up. Somehow, it's not quite working out that way.

With all the rapid changes in my life (selling my house, moving in with my guy, going back to school, deferring school to take care of my daughter, adjusting to my daughter not needing my care any longer, coordinating returning to school AGAIN, getting treatment for my depression, an upcoming significant birthday, family strife, and body image issues galore) my brain hasn't caught up yet and even more than usual, I have no idea who the hell I am or what I want. Another existential crisis, how very... common.

Add to that the fact that I'm not entirely sure how anonymous this space is anymore. While I haven't taken any great lengths to disguise my identity, there are certain readers that might find the content here, well, uncomfortable. Or rather, I would be uncomfortable with them having this peek into my world. If they still haven't bothered to get to know me in person, they haven't earned the right to hear my inner thoughts and feelings - even though I don't mind sharing them with all of the internet.

I'm still conflicted about it though. A huge part of me says that - not unlike neighbors who peer in windows - if you look, then you deserve whatever you see. Another part feels cowardly for not directly confronting these issues people in person. Whatever is left over is too proud to admit that any of this is even a problem. Given my capacity for (over)analyzing everything to death and taking everything so terribly seriously, is it any wonder I have insomnia?

Pass the vodka. *sigh*

posted by Space Kitty at 1:03 AM|| Comments (2)