SpaceKittyRedux: *insert exasperated noise.... here*

Thursday, September 22, 2005

insert exasperated noise.... here

The Ass of the Day award goes to.... (envelope please!)

Old Navy!

... for inexplicably discontinuing every single pair of pants that even remotely fits my ass.

While I never could feel entirely comfortable shopping there - due to the widespread allegations of sweatshop conditions in their factories - the fact is they made pants I could afford, and that managed to fit in the waist, hips and length, all at the very same time! The fact that this is a rare and unusual commodity in womens' clothing is a long rant for another day, but feel free to think evil thoughts about the fashion industry... now.

In the old days, medium-sized yoga capri pants were a staple for my casual wardrobe. Today? The extra-small sized yoga capri pants* (Stay with me now, I'm not an extra-small, but I vainly assumed a smaller size would have a shorter inseam) pooled onto the floor a good six inches below my feet. Combined with a vortex inducing camel-toe my gynecologist would have been embarassed to see, I have to wonder exactly who the hell these pants were meant to fit?! The answer is not Five-Foot-Tall-In-My-Stocking-Feet me. All the ankle-length jeans that used to break just so on the shoe seem to have been cut from the same overly elongated pattern - or at least, that's what I can tell from the few pairs I can pull up past my thighs.

*For the uninitiated, capri-length pants are meant to end between the ankle and the knee.

So, after years of not having to think about where to buy casual clothes, it's back to the drawing board. Anybody know where I can get jeans and yoga pants without a) putting a tailor on retainer b) dedicating all my free time to shopping or c) giving up and never leaving the house again?

PS - If I can find someone who delivers chocolate, option C is looking mighty fine right about now....

posted by Space Kitty at 5:59 PM|| Comments (4)

4 Comments:

OK, which one of you told Clarke about Pants Off!?

Yet another in a series of interminable in-jokes, brought to you by the (silent) letter Q and Squoogy.

-- by Space Kitty, at 9/22/2005 9:31 PM

I really, really, really dislike people who design and manufacture clothing for women. Can we please, please, PLEASE start doing sizes that are actually measurements IN INCHES (or centimeters I don't really care) of actual body parts so we can go into stores and actually know what's going to fit?!

And while I'm at it, could stores please start selling a range of clothes for all different sizes of women so we can actually go shopping for clothes together?

Grr.

-- by Kimberly, at 9/23/2005 9:18 AM

Okay, here's what I hate. The average American woman is 5'4", right? So, at 5'3", I should buy "regular" length pants, right? That makes sense, doesn't it? And yet, "regular" length pants drag on the ground even if I stand on my little tippytoes. Why?

Also, why must our pants judge us? I'm with Kimberly. Why can't they just say 30 or 32, rather than boldly proclaiming "Ha ha, you're short!" on the label. Not that there's anything wrong with being short, but damnit, I believe clothing should only speak when spoken to!

I also believe I'm a tetch cranky this morning.

-- by Anonymous, at 9/29/2005 11:13 AM

I hear you sisters. The man is trying to keep us down with ill-fitting pants that we buy regardless and then loath everytime we look at ourselves in the mirror with them on. Or maybe that's just me. I long for the late 90's era of pants, those fit me all nice and didn't cause a cool breeze on my ass when I sat down.