Monday, August 22, 2005

Hi.

Yes, it's been awhile. While I'd like to say I'd been kidnapped by rogue penguins and whisked off to George Clooney's secret hideaway - enjoying daily massages, catered foods, and wild orgies cocktail parties hosted by Eddie Izzard* - the truth is disappointingly more mundane.

I've been hibernating. I temporarily regressed into very old ways of dealing with stuff: shutting down, hiding under the bed, losing touch with friends and family. Isolating myself (ironic, since that's one of my biggest fears) and listening to the old repeating messages about not being good enough. To mix animal metaphors here, I was playing ostrich and avoiding confronting whatever it was that's troubling me. (More on that later. I'm still not sure what the hell is going on with me.)

I'll fully aware that, as a coping mechanism, hiding from the world sucks donkey balls. Cutting myself off from everyone who really cares about me is not only counterintuitive, but it denies the reality of my life - that I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by an amazing support system.

So, it's time to start new. The reason I quit my job and decided to go back to school was so that I could come closer to living the life I wanted. Time to get started.

Oh! And because I refuse to end this post on anything but a positive note, I finally figured out King Pigeon in yoga today. Yay!

* MY GOD. PETA'S GOTTEN SOMETHING RIGHT. ALERT THE MEDIA! Or, you know, just enjoy the picture. Like me.

posted by Space Kitty at 11:03 AM|| Comments (1)