YAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Mini Happy Returns! (TM: Mark)
Happy Birthday to me! Wanna see my birthday present?!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday to me! Wanna see my birthday present?!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ended up getting a 'B' on my math final, which means a 'B' for the course. I thought I'd be happier than I am, considering the fact that I've progressed madly since the beginning of the semester, (thanks in large part to various friends who put up with my homework freakouts) but I'm not. I really, really wanted an A. I know it didn't sound much like progress the last time I posted, but, well... hormones. I'm starting to wonder if this shouldn't be renamed the PMS blog.
However, I'm trying to keep a sense of perspective about the whole thing. I mean, really - at the beginning of the semester, I was quite sure I'd fail outright; at the beginning of the year I would have cried from gratitude if my biggest worry was pre-algebra. Anyway, I've got until the 28th without classes, so I'm swinging wildly from the depths of sloth (pizza, video games) to creating epic plans to get my entire life sorted (car loan, financial planner, gym schedule, health coverage, fall cleaning) before the fall semester. Wish me luck with that.
Banner outside a neighborhood church:
"No condemnation here!"
"Guess what?
Pierced people pray!
Tattooed people go to church!"
The only thing worse than someone treating me like I'm an idiot is me proving it to them. I don't speak math. I've tried and tried - no one in the class is interested in a study group, the tutors are no help because they're all into calculus and statistics and can't remember the basic shit we're working on, my professor is nice, but couldn't recommend anything other than a workbook from amazon I haven't ordered yet.
There's another damn test tonight on stuff I simply don't understand - I don't see any patterns. It looks like they arbitrarily decide to use different rules on every damn problem. The minute I think I see how it works, the next one proves me wrong.
I've really tried to ditch my math phobia this time around, and I thought I had. But just about the time we hit square roots, I felt my brain go 'Yeah, no' and start rejecting new information. I literally have a headache at the end of each class and study period. At the end of class last week I was so frustrated I almost broke into tears. I fell back on my 'don't try to understand it, just memorize it' strategy that worked so well for philosophy last semester, but it's an 8 week summer course and it's all zipping by too quickly for that.
The shit part is I have to take math every semester in order to get up to a level of proficiency where I can transfer to a university, so it's not like I'll even get a break in the fall. It's getting really damn difficult to remain optimistic about this, and I'm only in my second semester.